Once inside you may notice that, in contrast to the dirty gray linoleum floor and drop ceiling with questionable-looking tiles, the long, worn mahogany bar that runs long the south wall offers a touch of class. In front of the bar lies a curved upholstered booth that lies just under a small rectangular window in front lit with blue light bulbs. The design of the bar was modeled after a steamship like the triple-stacked Normandy etched into the mirror behind the cash register and below the Swedish and Norwegian flags behind the bar. Blue backlit portholes glow from the bar's wooden backdrop below a yellow stucco wall, and an interesting array of Viking paraphernalia that includes: statues, a horned helmet, a shield, an axe, Viking ships, wooden carvings, and a small Viking warrior skewering a bowling pin with what looks like a trident.
While Simon's may be the only bar in Chicago with an axe on display, the Viking helmet is particularly notable for two reasons. First of all, the Vikings did not wear helmets, let alone helmets with horns on them. Secondly, Simon's has an ongoing, unadvertised bar contest: if you can spot the five hidden animals in the lodge mural across from the bar, you can drink for free during the entire evening while wearing the helmet.
"This is the way a tavern used to be—no ferns, glass or peppy waitresses" – Ethnic Chicago (1993) Beyond the bar lies a small lounge area, complete with two of your grandmother's worn couches in the back, sans plastic, along with black & white pictures of a parade and a shuffleboard scene, and a red brick fireplace that warms chilly patrons. Illuminating the "back room" is a stained glass window depicting two crowned pickled herrings (drinking martinis) with little Swedish flags in the corners, backlit with light coming from the room behind.